How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
