4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
