I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
