i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
