i think my mom watched the whole time
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
