Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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