I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
