That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
