i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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