i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
