Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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