ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
