Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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