careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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