I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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