I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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