I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We need to get me chipped asap
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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