he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
