he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i will never coherently bang her
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
