the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I could fuck to npr.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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