Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
