fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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