Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
