laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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