You're so nebulous sometimes
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
