On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
