Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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