Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
