I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
