think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
