I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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