why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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