Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
