Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
