Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
