I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
