Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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