It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
