capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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