I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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