Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish I only lived at night.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How does it feel to date your dad?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
