No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
