You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
