I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
