he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
