I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
