Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
