I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
