I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
