i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just googled if crying burns calories
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
