is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
